Things and stuffs

Started the day with briefing about advanced formation flying which is the next step for us and something I'll get to try after lunch :) Unfortunately it started at 07.30 and lasted only half an hour and after that I don't have anything until lunch. BAD PLANNING, PEOPLE! I feel like I should sleep some now but once you're up and running it takes so long to get into sleeping mode that I just can't be bothered.

There's a heck of a lot of stuff that I need to take care of right now. I need to find a place to eat on my graduation day, an apartment for the year in Stockholm, I desperately need a new phone, there's lots of stuff left to do before the trip in a month which includes hotels for Hong Kong and Singapore, visas and also getting a new backpack. Pressure!

And what am I doing? I'm sitting here writing this blog. Doh!

On another note, I really feel like getting a bike again. As you might know my last attempt ended with me selling it again after a few months of mistreatment. Lesson learned! I just have a hard time deciding what I want. Something that is comfortable enough to go on road trips on, preferably with 2 people on it, but still looks pretty cool and is fun to drive on shorter trips as well. Oh yeah, and it needs to have a nice sound to it... They probably grow on trees so there's where I'll start looking :shady:

Perhaps one of these...

It's kinda big tho which worries me. I tried sitting on one and it felt huge. Don't wanna get something that I can't handle. It IS a good touring bike however and riding with a passenger wouldn't be a problem. Sucks that it doesn't look cooler ;_; Not something I'd wanna take to the store tbh.


Alright, time to actually do some good for a change. The PE assigntment wont do itself!

Oliver, out.

Over the top and down on the other side

Not that I think anyone ever reads this but what the heck. I haven't written a blog entry in forever so this feels a bit weird to be honest. Perhaps it's good to vent tho. Let off some steam.

Alrighty, let's get started, shall we? My life ain't that bad right now. I feel like I have most of them ducks in a line at the moment so I really can't complain. My time here at the flight school is coming to an end which is definitely not something I'm looking forward to. The summer holiday will be awesome but then I'm going back to Karlberg and lord knows how that'll work out. Didn't really enjoy my stay there last time. HOWEVER, it's not all gloomy seeing how certain things will be different this time around. I wont have to live at the castle for one, can't tell you how happy I am about that. Funny how that works, I've always wanted to live in a castle... but if you'd seen my room (<10m2) you'd understand. This is due to the fact that I'm now technically an officer so we can live in town and get the apartment paid for, how neat is that? :D

The downsides to such a living is that I'll be further away from my classmates which means I'll have to motivate myself when it's time for writing or whatnot. Bit nervous about that. Can't say I'm in pole position after 07's epic failure. We'll see how that goes. Some way or another I have to make it until summer 2010. But ok, let's deal with such problems when they knock on my door. Besides, perhaps I've matured since then, things might not seem as bad when I get there.

This has truly been an amazing year though, I can't stress that enough. I FINALLY got to fly the sk60 like I've dreamed about. (Omg, a Gripen is taking off just outside my window!!). I actually just landed after some advanced formation flying. Kinda cool to think about how far we've gotten in only a year.

I believe this summer has some good times in store for me and nate as well. Once the flying is over I have one week off before we depart for China! Transsibirian railroad, the great wall, pandas, the terracotta warriors, Lee river, Hong Kong and Malaysia are just some of the things we'll see/experience. There's still some planning that needs to be done, papers to print and visas to aquire but overall we're more or less done. I have to thank Renate for that.

Alright, time for some lunch and then I thought I'd work on my home exam in PE that is due friday. Pretty interesting actually. Knowledge that you can actually put to use yourself, that doesn't happen every day!

So to quote my english teacher...

TTFN!

What I am, and what I am not

Christmas eve is finally over but with its end didn't come the relief I had hoped for. Instead I keep feeling like crap >_< At first it looked like it might turn out to be a good night after all, but then something happened and yeah, nothing really turned out like I had hoped it would. I ate dinner and opened my presents but found no joy in that. Instead of eating dessert I escaped to my room and spent the rest of the evening in solitude, reading and watching a movie. It seems I am no longer able to appreciate this holiday...

Today we finally booked the trip to Venezuela but to be quite honest I no longer feel like going anywhere, a shame seeing how much money it has already cost me. I guess I don't look forward to anything right now. I wish it was possible for me to go to sleep and not wake up until this summer. I have a feeling this semester will be hell and I'd rather shoot myself than to experience that again.

I had really hoped to fly some now that I am home but naturally that didn't work out either. Those fucking retarded people at the maintenance company where the plane is right now decided to close up for the holidays and gave us basically no time to pick it up. GAH! But I'm not surprised, why would anything ever go my way? I just wanna cry...

Thank god I didn't have a chance to speak to anyone tonight for it would most likely not have been a pleasant conversation. My negativity isn't confined to trivial matters but rather involves everything currently in my life. I wish I could somehow make it go away but has proven to be a lot harder than I originally anticipated. And everything keeps changing for the worse. Those things that I used to be very enthusiastic about no longer feel worth while. I push away those I love for I wish not to hurt them, but I guess that is inevitable.

I hate my life right now.

Feelings of relief

FINALLY! The exam is done and I can relax for the first time in quite a while. Studying what feels almost like 24/7 takes its toll *yaaaaawns* I was nervous that I would freak out when I saw the test but it wasn't as intimidating as I had expected it to be. I guess that's always how it is - you picture the worst case scenario in your head but once you get there you realise that it wasn't nearly as impossible as you'd imagined. The downside is that I always get so stressed out that I almost give up... that certainly wouldn't make it any better :P

Apparently we'll be given the results at the end of next week. That should keep our teachers busy for a while. REVENGE! xD
Maybe getting them after christmas would've been better for the sake of everyone around me. Right now I feel like I don't care how well I did as long as I reached the magical 50% limit. Anything short of that and I'll hang myself from the christmas tree, lol. I have a feeling that when that day comes I wont feel that 50% is enough. It's always about being best... *sighs*

I wish I had a computer of my own. Some of my friends play games when they don't have anything better to do but I can only watch which is boring and rather lame. Maybe I'll buy one if I get a full pay from the Navy. I'm not really supposed to get any money from them since I'm studying but so far no one has contacted me and I sure as hell wont call them up.

More news. My brother just bought a car and dad managed to destroy (hopefully just partially) his computer. Fun times. Thus I'll see the whole family when I go home tomorrow which should be nice =) At least I don't have to sit alone in my room like last time. (or like 99% of my free time) But I like privacy so you don't need to feel sorry for me ^^

I had to return The Da Vinci Code today even though I hadn't finished reading it, stupid crap >_< At least I found another book that I can keep until after the christmas break so that's good!

Hmm, I need to get up early tomorrow and pack so I should probably hit the hay.

*insert appropriate goodbye phrase here*

Thoughts about thoughts

Today I decided to make a list of what needs to be read before the exam, something I should've done a long time ago. Now it suddenly doesn't feel as overwhelming as it did yesterday. Also I entered deeply into EU's political organisation. The funny thing is that the more you read the less you actually understand how things work. Intrigues and fights over power happens on a daily basis. Insane.

After reading me and my brother ate at a very tiny and cosy thai restaurant on Södermalm and the food was as yummy now as it was last time I was there ^^ We had booked tickets to the movie Beowulf which started at 8.45 so after finishing the meal we rushed off to the subway but still managed to get there five minutes too late. Thank you lord for trailers! (you wont hear me say that again anytime soon)

The movie itself wasn't as good as I had thought but still rather entertaining. I didn't really like how it was 100% animated though. I mean, come on guys, you can't beat Finding Nemo so you might as well stop trying xP

Tomorrow (today) is my brother's last day in town. I really hope he's enjoyed his stay even though I haven't been the best host, seeing how I've had my nose buried in books most of the time ;_; Although I did warn him about my impending exam.

A pleasant surprise was that my neighbour decided to move out so now I have the shower and bathroom all to myself, yay! Not that I disliked him or anything but now I don't even have to bring a towel when I shower xD One needs to focus on the positive things!

Ugh, I haven't exercised for days now and feel rather bad about it >_< I should probably go for a run or to the gym after my brother has left tomorrow. I just wish I had an mp3 player, it would make running a more attractive form or exercise.

That's all folks. Tune in tomorrow for another episode of "Oliver's very normal life".

Over and out!

Stressful times

Shit shit shit. The exam in security politics will take place this thursday and I'm really freaked. I should do nothing but study but for some reason I lack the motivation needed. I have nightmares about the big pile of books that needs to be read and not to mention understood.
Our teacher gave us a sample of typical questions that will be used in the exam but if the point was to rid us of some stress then he failed miserably >_<

Ugh, I just want to pass this exam so I can go home for christmas with a clear conscience.

Speaking of christmas, I still have no idea where, when or even IF I should go somewhere ;_; I still haven't talked to my teacher about week 3 so I have no idea if it'll be possible to travel then or if I have to stay at home and do those stupid assignments. If so I'll KILL HIM! I wonder what would happen if I just ignored it :shady: ARGH! All this uncertainty is driving me nuts.

My brother is here this weekend which means that my tiiiiny room feels like an animal cage. It's nice to have some company though even if it means that I don't study as much as I should. Apparently it's only his second time in Stockholm which means that I have a resposibility to show him all the cool places to hang. Today we ate enchilada at Kungshallen and then I taught him the secret art of taking the subway. Might catch a movie tomorrow. So all in all it should be a good weekend.

Btw, did you know that the world record for staying awake the longest is 447 hours (around 18 days) and was set by a woman competing in a rocking chair contest xP

Okies, that's all I have for tonight. Sleep tight folks.

Tears

...they cannot be controlled ;_;