My wish list

I wish I was...

...handsome, smart, humourous, motivated, confident, happy, looked up to, taller, diligent, less conservative, tired (considering the late hour), appreciated, mature, spontaneous, benevolent, artistic, quick-thinking, romantic, content, thrustworthy, optimistic... Simply put, I wish I was someone else ;_;

Tonight is not a good night as Im sure you can tell. I don't really know where this low came from which makes it even more frustrating. I try to fight it but it wont let go and after a while I just don't have the strenght to keep trying. Even the slightest disappointment can set off an avalanche in my head which doesn't stop until everything is in ruins >_<

I just wish I could somehow disappear from this godforsaken place, become invisible, go up in smoke or maybe sink through the floor... Although that probably wouldn't be a good idea since my room isn't located at ground level. Crappers! Ah well, I guess the carpet will have to do for now...

Today when I left the restaurant I saw this amazing red sky and decided to run and get my camera and try to get some nice shots. Afterwards I have to admit that it probably wasn't the sun I saw but a comet passing earth at close proximity, seeing how fast it disappeard =( So there I was, cold and alone with the camera in my hand but nothing to take pictures of. Not good ones anyway. If I hadn't been as stubborn as a mule I probably would've realised that there was no point to continue after this... But naturally I did and the results were lame. Wow, Im so surprised. Not.

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Today is a very special day and I really should try to be atleast somewhat positive. HOW DOES ONE DO THAT? ;_;

Gah, 6 hours until I have to get up which means that today will be as sucky as today, if not worse. And on top of that I have to study to my leadership exam.

Ah whatever!